Hindsight is 2020

My bags were packed weeks ago

But I’ve got nowhere else to go

I put all my thoughts in a slow cooker

My feelings packed into fireworks

My actions fell off the sleigh

My voice stuck singing in someone else’s dream

My stay home entertainment is juggling with the what ifs

What if I loved a little more

What if I hated a little less

What if I went for that adventure

What if I didn’t get so seasick

What if I gave myself a chance to be homesick

Instead of being sick of my home

What if I realized sooner that hoME is wherever I’m with ME?

Another year gone by wasting time on not being okay.

“Getting better” says look on the bright-side

Honesty says I’m on the wrong-side of happiness.

The side that is so dark that the sun sets at 4:30.

Happy New Year says Hopeful New Year

Experience says it will happen again.

“getting better” says I can change

Being whole says I’ll always stay the same.

Time says I need to reach out

Safety says “maybe tomorrow”

I say I can’t rid myself of this perpetual dissatisfaction unless I do something, go somewhere, talk to someone, find a way to say something, or follow some other path

Society says stay home.

My perspective is standing on top of a mountain staring down at the path that I have taken to get to this point

Last year, I walked the same trail and looked down the same path repeatedly

This year, if I lift my head up, and look all around; what view will I see?


Author: becomingchristopher

20 something year old writing about an ever growing curiosity surrounding the presence of happiness.

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