Fast forward through falling in love. You already know how it goes. You’ve seen the movies. You’ve felt those butterflies. You know what it’s like to be wrapped up in that bliss. To be ignorant of all those flaws. Fast forward through all that sappy, cheesy stuff. It’s not what truly understanding love is about.
Love is about when everything goes wrong. And you’re constantly stuck thinking why can’t this be like the movies and the fairy tales as tears fill up in your eyes and you’re driving away. Over and over again you end up in the same spot. With so much love for that person. But it’s all f*cked up. And you see their flaws so strongly. It angers you. They keep pushing and you need space and then finally you push and then they need space and you cry and you’re so confused and the pain in your heart is so real but everyone around you will point out their flaws more and tell you that you don’t need them. But they’re wrong.
They don’t know you like I do.
This is supposed to be different. We aren’t breaking up like all those other couples. Our love is stronger. And we keep telling ourselves that until we are finally walking away from each other.
And it’s not okay anymore.
And then you go so long thinking about all those times they cried or they yelled or they didn’t understand. And you get angry.
Why couldn’t it have gone differently? Why’d everything have to go wrong?
You sit with those questions for quite a while. You sit with the sadness. You sit with the anger. You sit with the heartbreak.
And then a memory will hit. That moment that you were in bed and she quickly lifted her head up so you could tuck your arm underneath as you wrap your other arm around her. And you’re supposed to be sleeping but you lift your head upand over her shoulder to catch one more peek at her face. And you can just catch the corner of her lips as they curve upwards.
Beautiful.
Because even when everything went so f*cking wrong.
Those little things went so f*cking right.
No one can take that away from you.
Thank you.
-Christopher
becomingchristopher 