Hi,
My name’s Chris
I’m 25 years old
When I was a littlekid my mom would always call me kissy Chrissy
And I’m still embarrassed about it to this day
But it reminds me that I used to show all the love and affection that I had in my heart without worrying about what other people would say of it
I love ice cream… too much sometimes
I like laughing so hard until I make the whole room stare
And dancing like my demons can’t catch me
I let my eyes say the words that my lips can’t shape
My humour is scary
But my hugs are safe
I’ve been told that I’m soft
That I feel too much with my heart
So I’ve tried to make my muscles hard
And to feel with the strength in my grip
My closet is full of salmon colored shirts
But I don’t like to fish
In life I find myself
On a constant pursuit of happiness
I’ve got the words “you are enough” tattooed on my arm
But I still struggle to believe them
I’ve got a semi colon tattooed on my side because my story isn’t finished
Just like all the half-written suicide notes on my bedside table
The words “I am NOT enough” are tattooed all over those notes
It’s a constant battle between “I am” and “I am not”
Sometimes I give in to all the negativity that I have fought
And those are the days I can’t get out of bed
Those are the days I can’t get out of my own head
I often like to wear hawaiin shirts
as if sad people never wear flowers
I have so much self-doubt
But people who have seen me say I have super powers
They say my happiness is contagious
That my life is super couragous
I’ve spent times in my life being so low that I have wanted to die
But those times have taught me to keep chasing the feeling of being truly alive
To me, being truly alive means connecting with people. It means being with them in their darkest moments and letting them sit with me in mine
In those moments I feel Goodness and my heart perfectly align
And the happiness that I am pursuing
The happiness that we are ALL pursuing
May bring us together.
becomingchristopher 