Wanna be

 

Growing up I was constantly asked “WHAT do you want to be when you grow up?”
Of course I didn’t know the answer to this question. After some time I would respond “I want to be a fire truck”
Many people laughed and took this for face value, as a silly kid giving a silly answer.
The way I see it was giving a dumb answer to an even dumber question.
Of course a “fire truck” will never define what I become.
And neither will a “doctor”, nor a “fast food worker” nor a “criminal”
Silly adults, asking WHAT will I become as if one label will define my entire self.
I hope that one day people will ask my parents what there son is doing and they will reply “he is happy” and they will be proud.
When will we ask WHO do you want to become. And I’m not talking about super-man. I’m talking about super-Chris.
What morals will you hold dear to your heart? What memories will always make you crack a smile. What experiences will teach you valuable lessons? What goals will you put your all into? How will you learn hard work, determination, and resiliency? What challenges will teach you what is and what isn’t “worth it”? Do you want to get caught up in your failures or entranced in “what else ya got?”
When I was a kid people told me I was so smart I could be a lawyer. So eventually I said I wanted to be a lawyer. And then when I stopped feeling smart I stopped thinking I could be a lawyer. Truth is “super-Chris” was never a lawyer. “Super-Chris” is getting back up again after falling down for the millionth time. Super-Chris is saying the things that his head told him he could never say, and taking the leaps of faith that his head told him he could never take. Super-Chris is casually answering a phone call at midnight and talking a friend down from a panic attack. Because Chris isn’t perfect and he gets insomnia sometimes but maybe that doesn’t mean something is wrong with him but instead it gives him an opportunity to be there for someone. Super Chris isn’t a lawyer, super Chris is walking into a room with confidence and laughing so hard everyone in the room has to laugh back.

Lawyer-Chris could probably get his research paper in on time, but super-Chris can probably give someone else the ideas and strength to finish their essay and to not give up on themselves.
Lawyer Chris would probably learn to hide his sensitivity and act like words cannot hurt him. Super Chris can probably wear his heart on his sleeve, so EVERYONE can see his true self. And with a heart right there, maybe he can stay true to it. Maybe he can realize his passions and chase them relentlessly. Maybe he can pursue happiness and enjoy the ride. And maybe he’ll get that essay done…. eventually.

“WHAT do you want to be when you grow up?”

How about “WHO do you want to be when you grow up?”

I think I’ll be Chris.

#becomingchristopher #wannabe #positivity #mentality

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Life is a mirror

I’ve been having a very difficult time lately. Which isn’t entirely uncommon for me. I know I’ve been in a very similar position before. And I’ve realized that when I go through these especially rough periods in my life, 2 things are always present.

1. I believe that life is being unfair to me.

2. I act out with anger, frustration, and negativity.

Is it just me or do those 2 things probably affect one another? I am reminded of the story where an angry dog walks into a room full of mirrors and only sees angry dogs staring back at him. Then a happy dog walks into the same room and he only sees smiling dogs and wagging tails.

Truth is, although I feel almost entirely convinced that life is out to get me right now; logically it just isn’t so. Maybe, MAYBE 1 or 2 bad things have happened to me that weren’t at all my fault. But last time I checked, that’s what life is. In fact, I’m starting to think that the reason it feels like life is picking on me is because I’ve become angry and I’ve been expressing too much negativity to life.

Sure, maybe even if I never got angry then 1 or 2 bad things would still happen to me. But I’m guessing that they wouldn’t feel as bad and they’d be easier to handle. Do you guys think I’m on to something here?

Problem is now I’m stuck in this rut where too many bad things have happened to me and my shoulders are so so heavy and I can’t let anything go because I don’t even know where to start.

I’m reminded of an idea from Tony Robbins in that blame can not be one dimensional. “Cause if you’re going to blame people for all the sh*t you better blame them for all the good too.” Accepting that statement makes it a lot harder to keep grudges.

Whether it be relationships, family members, or jobs; if you want to blame someone or something for 1 bad thing you have to give them/it the credit for all the good that has come too.

How can I stay mad at life when life has shown me the most amazing things in this world? If I want to blame life for the bad then I have to blame it for every time I’ve cracked a smile, broken up in laughter, or been stunned by something so beautiful.

How can I stay mad at a parent for doing me wrong in one aspect when I have them to blame for making me the man that I am today? The man that is sweet and caring on the inside. Not the man that fights with the world, showing snarls and clenched fists. But the man that is open and confident with his heart on his sleeve.

Smile at the mirror if you want it to smile back.

-Christopher

#christopher101 #tonyrobbins #positivity #mentality #positivementality #wellness #forgetselfhelp #helpyourself

Life is a 3 ingredient meal.

 

You know those moments you’re breathing so fast but not breathing at all?

You’re crying out so loud but you can’t make out a sound?

The worlds moving so fast but time won’t move at all?

I pray you don’t.

But what do you do? Simplify. In school they teach you to multiply. I can do that with my problems. I can add them all up. Make it a game, we’ll call it 7 up. My problems grow exponentially. They could never stop growing; potentially. My problems always multiply. But instead I think I should simplify.

Life is simple.

It’s a 3 ingredient meal.

I was just a kid. Too young to remember, too old to forget. I went to bed real early. Because I could feel a storm coming. My mother was smoking. My father was pacing. My fingers were loosely gripped around the pillow that was cowering over my head. And then those chubby little fingers clamped down the very second that I took my last real breath of the night and my parents shouted the first daggers of the fight.

1

2

3

I never actually remember the arguments. My father was gone. I sat outside my mothers bedroom and listened to the tears rolling down her cheek inside. Eventually she came back to the present. She had a kid to take care of. Something to do. I hadn’t eaten since lunch. I don’t know how she managed, but she came out of that room with a smile on her face, asking me if I wanted to go to Mcdonalds.

I always do.

And when we got there and the restaurant was closed, her brave smile remained. Looks like we get to make something at home!

It was late, we were both very tired, and there wasn’t a lot of food in the house. What to do? Simplify. There were always noodles in the pantry, eggs in the fridge, and sugar in the cupboard. Cook the noodles, fry them with the eggs. And add sugar to sweeten up your life. With those 3 ingredients my mother showed me how to make the easiest, and at that moment, most delicious meal in the world. It was awesome. And I went to bed that night with a happy stomach to battle my worried heart.

3 ingredients to life.

1. Something is going to happen

2. It is going to effect you in some way

3. You get to choose what to make of it.

-Christopher

#cooking #mentalhealth #mentalhealthy #simplicity #wordstoliveby